Sunday, May 1, 2016

Why I Never Found Outlines to Be Helpful

I. I don't organize my thoughts well like this.
     A. I work better inside my head.
     B. I edit better during the writing process.
     C. I can't "see" the outcome in this layout.

II. Outlines are clunky.
     A. I'm not even sure how they're supposed to work.
     B. Should this be a number instead of a letter?
     C. Maybe a lower case letter?
     E. What happens when I run past my knowledge of Roman Numerals?
     F. See? I totally fucked up that last one and didn't even realize it.

III. And don't even get me started on rough drafts.
     A. I edit better during the writing process on the same piece of paper.
     B. Were rough drafts more useful in the days of typewriters?
     C. Okay, maybe I'll print a "rough" copy and edit for spelling and format, but really, that's it.
     D. I'll use notecards if I'm writing something really big.
     E. Sometimes a notecard will end up being no more than a single sentence in the finished piece.

IV. I'm running out of topics.
     A. Are these even topics?
     B. They seem more like random ideas to me.
     C. Like little asides almost.
     D. Did I leave the oven on?
     E. Nope.


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

On Shelley (a poem)

Percy Bysshe Shelley
loathed cats
and once tied one to a kite
to see if it would be
electrocuted.

Not such a romantic
as you might expect
for a poet you only
pretended to read
for class.


Friday, November 7, 2014

The Endless River (of Complaints to Come)

There's a new Pink Floyd album coming out next week. This bitching has already begun. "It ain't Pink Floyd without Roger Waters," y'all scream in your thick southern accents. "There ain't no Floyd without Roger." Well, that's just bullshit, I replied.

But first, let's talk about the new album, The Endless River. The album should be seen as it was intended, as a tribute to unheard music composed by late Floyd keyboardist Rick Wright (who passed away in 2008). The music comes mostly from pieces recorded by Wright during the 1993 sessions for The Division Bell, the last Floyd album (1994). (There are some bits of music included that he recorded back in the late 60s too, but not nearly as prevalent in the mix.) De facto leader Dave Gilmour and drummer Nick Mason got together and recorded some tracks to go with Wright's music, and this is basically what The Endless River is all about.

And oh my, the haters are gonna hate.

Those people in the "There's no Floyd without Roger" camp are going to hate it out of habit. Most of them won't even listen to it. Many "I Dig Pink Floyd Regardless of Roger's Participation" fans won't care for it either, because it won't be what they expect: it's mostly an instrumental record; there's only one vocal track to speak of. But when taken for what it is, it's not too bad at all. If you use it while you're laying back and relaxing after a long day, maybe drifting in and out of a nice nap on the davenport, I think you'll like it just fine.

And as far as the "Roger or Bust!" crowd goes, just fucking chill already. First of all, the guy's a dick. He unceremoniously kicked fellow founding member Wright out of the band during the recording sessions for The Wall (although hired him back just to play keyboards on the following tour), and refused to have him back for The Final Cut, the last Waters-inclusive Floyd release (1983). His megalomaniacal behavior goes back long before that (stories of him spitting on a fan during the Animals tour are legendary, and he was quite a jerk to the rest of the fellows in the band dating back long before Dark Side of the Moon). Let's face it, those boys put up with his shit for way too long. However, they saw the band for what it was: a collaborative success. It's only when Roger started taking over that the albums started to decline. Hey, I love The Wall, but you cannot put it on the same shelf as Animals, Wish You Were Here, or DSotM, can you? No way. And that's because Roger made it all about him, this big concept album about his youth and later success and how it corrupted him.

And so after The Final Cut, which was even more about Roger than The Wall if that's possible, Roger decided he was leaving the band and thus it should be broken up. Now, he was more than welcome to leave, but he had no leg to stand on, insisting the band break up. It wasn't his band. It was a group, founded by three other people, one long before gone bonkers and departed into his mother's basement, and another forced to quit because Roger wasn't getting along with him. The fucking ego on some people, I tell you.

So when Dave Gilmour and Nick Mason decided to hire Rick back and move forward, Roger sued them, said they weren't Pink Floyd. But they were, and a judge agreed, after a long and very ugly series of legal proceedings.

Now, let's take a minute and calculate just how talented Roger is. He released three albums in the time since he left the band. A solid, yet dated album called The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking, the forgettable Radio KAOS, and the mostly mundane Amused to Death. There was one single off Radio KAOS that did fairly well and you might have heard it (Radio Waves), and there was one single from Amused to Death (What God Wants) that got some radio play too. But that's it. Nothing special. Nothing brilliant. If he was so amazing, Roger-lovers, where, to coin a phrase, is the beef?

And let me be very clear: I LIKE Roger Waters. A lot. I think he's a pretty awesome songwriter. Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking is a huge favorite of mine, and a lot of the songs on the Final Cut I think are really amazingly good. But I also think post-Waters Floyd is pretty sharp too, and I think they aren't given a chance by too many people because, let's face it, most of you people are jerks.

So briefly, their post-Waters career includes three studio albums: A Momentary Lapse of Reason, The Division Bell, and the latest (and almost certainly final Pink Floyd release) The Endless River. Momentary Lapse featured three radio hits: Learning to Fly, On the Turning Away, and The Dogs of War. None of these are particularly great on their own, and there are IMO better tunes on the album (One Slip, and Sorrow are two of my favorites), but they were each individually bigger than any of Roger's solo cuts. The Division Bell had a hit with Keep Talking, featuring Stephen Hawking on vocals. It's a pretty solid album too, and like most of their catalogue (and certainly like all Roger Waters' solo albums) is a concept album that requires you to consume whole rather than in pieces, and thus hearing a single track doesn't really capture how good the album is as a whole. In fact, the Division Bell track What Do You Want From Me? is a smoker, but even that works better when taken with the rest of the album.

And the new album is the same: a bunch of instrumentals this time, but all strung together so they work like a suite, and it's really quite beautiful, a swan song for the band and a salute to their late keyboardist, who was really unappreciated.

I know this little essay of sorts won't change anyone's mind, and I'm also aware that it's unlikely more than two people who actually give a crap about any of this will actually read it, but it makes me feel better saying it, and isn't that what blogs are all about?

But seriously, just because there's no Roger doesn't mean it sucks. Pink Floyd was at its best when Rog was in the band, no question, but c'mon, don't be a dick about it. And you people who claim Syd Barrett was the true genius? No. That's all I say to you.

No.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Prince Album of the Day (Day 11): Diamonds and Pearls (1991)

(It's actually Day 10, but I fucked up yesterday and now it's just pointless and I mostly hate myself for it, so let's all agree to pretend it's Day 11 and there will be some great mystery someday about what actually happened to Day 9.)

Standout Tracks: Thunder, Cream

Thank the gods for Diamonds and Pearls as the follow-up to the tedious three-disc Crystal Ball set. Diamonds and Pearls is good stuff. How good? Wait for it.

The disc kicks off with a bang, the upbeat rocking/funking Thunder. Thunder sounds like it could be a theme song from a James Bond movie, lots of dramatic keyboard action, a catchy hook, filled with good visuals. And while we're on the subject, why hasn't Prince done a James Bond theme song? I'm writing a letter!

The title track has a beautiful chorus, just lovely, but honestly I have to say the verses themselves leave me unimpressed. Prince sings along with the melody there, which is fine when it's a better melody than this. It's these five-syllable runs that are just too cheesy for me. The chorus is really something though. Really everything but those verses is great. In fact, while it's far from the best track on the album, it is the one song that seems to be the ear worm for this release. All day long I've been humming those damned five notes.

Strollin' is a great tune, very jazzy. There is a killer guitar solo in this tune, just spectacular. And here we need to talk about the personnel for a moment. This is the first Prince album that officially is attributed to him and the New Power Generation (even though the NPG had performed on previous releases), and because of the NPG, it's not just Prince playing all the instruments anymore. So I don't know whether to attribute the solo to him or to the NPG guitarist. It's a pretty stunning solo though, so it's probably safe to assume it's Prince's fret-work, but it is a much different genre of solo than you'd expect him to pull off. Great stuff though, wonderful tune. 

Gett Off is as close as you can get to making my Standout Tracks list without making the grade. It's got a super beat, is funky as hell, and Prince even throws down a rap, and while I cannot complain about it at all, there's just a little something special that's missing for this to go all the way.

But Cream, that motherfucker goes all the way. Funky, baby. And hot. Dance to that motherfucker.

Walk Don't Walk and Jughead, are mostly forgettable, the only real mediocre tracks on the album. Jughead ends with a bit of dialogue ripping on what is almost certainly Warner Brothers, and it sort of feels unnecessary. Again, not a bad song here, just mostly meh.

Money Don't Matter is smooth, 70s style R&B. I love it. It makes my sheets feel softer. Venus Flytrap would have loved it. 

Push is another great funk tune, and from there we go into Insatiable, the ballad in which Prince sings (and talks in PrinceSexyVoice) about wanting to videotape his lovemaking. This is interesting because by the end of the song, it seems he's more interested in being the star of the film rather than the cinematographer. None of this can be very surprising.

The album comes to a close with Live 4 Love, which also comes close to being a fitting James Bond theme song, again, mostly due to that dramatic keyboard action. Little bits of rap are tossed in throughout, but generally it's another funky little number that you can't help but tap your toes to. Super bass solo about halfway through that leads into a good rap portion. Well worth hearing, and a fitting end to a really fine album.


Rating: 4 pearl necklaces (out of 5)


Monday, October 7, 2013

Prince Album of the Day (Day 10): Crystal Ball (1998)

Standout tracks: Acknowledge Me, Ripopgodazippa, Last Heart, The Ride

For those who say you can't have too much of a good thing, Crystal Ball might just be the antithesis of your philosophy; there's just too much mediocrity here to be good. Not to say this 3-disc set is all bad. It isn't. But it is overwhelmingly mediocre, and frankly that shouldn't be surprising.

Crystal Ball's 3 discs are made up of some previously unreleased (but heavily bootlegged) material and some previously released material that have been all been remixed. So, let's face it. If it hadn't been released before, it probably wasn't all that great, and remixes are almost never better than the originals. Therefore, mediocrity.

But for the good stuff, the first two standout tracks listed about come from the superior Gold Experience album, and they appear right near the beginning of the Crystal Ball set. But then there's a long lag before we get to anything memorable, 1986's Last Heart, a track originally on the shelved Dream Factory project, a double album co-written and performed with The Revolution. This history gets a little confusing there, as Prince disbanded The Revolution and attempted to release the Dream Factory recordings along with a bunch of solo tracks as one three-album set called, dig this, Crystal Ball. Warner Brothers wouldn't go along with that and the set was pared down to two albums and released as Sign o' the Times, which, of course, we'll get to in a month or so.

See? Confusing.

There is a good live track at the beginning of the third disc, Days of Wild, from a 1995 NPG show. I like 18 & Over (the lyric itself Prince finds a way to rhyme with "I want 2 bone ya,"), a rappish, funky number that uses the music from the title track of the previously reviewed (and raved-about) Come, which may explain why I like the track more than anything else. Another live track from 1995, the blues-driven The Ride, is absolutely killer and allows Prince the opportunity to strut is stuff on the guitar. It doesn't fit thematically with anything else on Crystal Ball, but it's damned good and I'm glad it's there. Unfortunately, it's followed by a remix/remake of the Come track Loose (retitled here Get Loose), and... ugh. It certainly isn't the worst tune on the set (that would be 1983's 15-minute Cloreen Baconskin, a track so bad I refused to follow my code and didn't listen to it twice. In fact, I skipped to the next track before I had finished it the first time), but it's not very good.

There is a remix of the fun Gold Experience track, P Control, but again, the remix is just not as good as the original release and why it was included here is beyond me. The set ends with a ballad cut from the release of the Emancipation album (another three-disc set that I find... well, you'll have to wait for it), and it's pretty solid, not quite enough to make it as a standout track, but it's good.

This is a tough album to rate because there is so much material of such varying quality. The mediocre stuff might not be mediocre if there were less of it, you know? Like if there was a disc of six of the mediocre tunes and five of the better tunes, it would be easier to review than thirty tracks. So, I think it would be fair to rate it as:


Rating: 3 Dionne Warwicks (out of 5)

  



Thursday, October 3, 2013

Prince Album of the Day (Day Off!): Behind the Scenes

So today is a day off, in a sense. In fact, it's not really a day off for me at all, but for the ten or so of you who have been following this little experiment, you have the day off. No Prince album reviews for you today, at least not from me. If you're reading other people's Prince album reviews, I hope they are smaller then mine. Be sure to use protection.

But it is a day off here, as I said. Or not, actually. Because the deal is this: I'm working my way through Crystal Ball, which is three CDs in length. Or five, if you count The Truth and Kamasutra, the two bonus CDs that came with certain incarnations of the Crystal Ball release. I'm counting it as three because I'll review The Truth when I get to the Ts, and I have been as of yet unable to locate a copy of Kamasutra. (If you've got access to a copy, please get in touch with me so I might be able to hear it. That is, to my knowledge, the only officially released album I do not have.) So I've got three discs to work through for Crystal Ball, and that's going to take some time. And so, what I wanted to do this evening is give you a basic overview as to how the process works for me, what I do to get these reviews together for you (and me).

Each day, of course, I listen to one album from Prince's catalogue, in alphabetical order rather than the chronological release date. In doing so, I listen to each album a minimum of two times: once in the car, and once on my home stereo. I do this so I can get the songs into my head enough to be able to say something about them, as well as to hear how they sound through different speakers. It wouldn't be fair to review them based only on how they sound in my car, right? Hell no. So I listen to each album in its entirety a minimum of twice, so with something like Crystal Ball, I've got five hours of listening to do just for the minimum.

After I listen all the way through for the second time, I go through the album again, track by track, spending more time with certain ones and less with others. Some I'll listen to three or four more times. Others I will skip entirely. For some tracks, the two minimum listenings are more than enough, but I still do it. It's only fair. It is at this point I start making notes about what I want to say.

I do a certain amount of research too, be it through the reading of liner notes to looking over other reviews from real critics. I am embarrassed to admit that I have referred to Wikipedia on occasion, but only for release dates and occasional chronological information in order to put into context in my own mind where things go, and where I may have been at the time. I realize no true journalist (and I am using the term loosely here when directing it at myself; I am not a journalist but I think I deserve a higher pay grade than the term "blogger" would award me) would ever choose to cite Wikipedia in his or her work. The site is utter garbage. But as a matter of minor information such as release dates and which album came when, I am content to trust it. (There's a lot of bad information on there though! Yowza!)

So after all that, I compile my notes into a short review and post it for you all to read. Yes, a good deal of time goes into this, and so when I get to something like Crystal Ball and its three discs, I just can't possibly pull it off in a single day. I'm about halfway through my first listen, in fact, so it may take a few days to get through this. And with the kid here until Tuesday, well, let's just say Prince isn't always the best music to have on when an 11 year-old is wandering in and out of the room.

So, until Crystal Ball gets through my ears, I'll be signing off. Thank you, the few of you who are interested. This is a worthy experiment and we have a very long way yet to go!


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Prince Album of the Day (Day 8): Controversy (1981)

Standout tracks: Controversy, Do Me, Baby, Jack U Off

This is, essentially, where it all started for me with Prince. I saw the music video for the second track from this album (Sexuality) on HBO's Video Jukebox and I was immediately hooked. "Who is this shirtless madman of funk?" I doubtless didn't think. But I would soon enough. 1999 was right around the corner.

This album is the bees knees, people. Top drawer. High end. The good stuff. The only track that comes close to missing the mark is the admittedly offbeat Annie Christian, but there is just as much I like about the track as I dislike. But let's talk about the rest.

The title track is killer and a perfect launching point for the album. Great funk guitar, great keyboards. (Important to note here, that as with most of the pre-New Power Generation albums, Prince tends to handle nearly every aspect of the recording, in that he, on this album, plays every single instrument you hear with the exception of the very last track, when Revolution members Lisa and Dr. Fink join on keys and Bobby Z. is on drums. Again, this is common for Prince. That's just how fucking good he is, dig?) Sexuality follows in the second slot, and is a definite precursor to Let's Pretend We're Married on 1999, which was the album that came next chronologically. You'll recognize the keyboard and drum machine are in the same vein, thematically, and lyrically, it's certainly a little smutty.

From there, we go into the lone ballad, Do Me, Baby, and it's one of the best he's put down. Sly vocals, hitting all the high notes, one I still try to sing along with when I have the air and a strong throat. Just super good. Private Joy follows with a return to the upbeat funkiness, and the feedbacky intro into Ronnie, Talk to Russia is glorious. Prince is joined by Lisa on backing vocals, but the stunt guitar is really what it's all about for me. It's more of a rocker, but a short one, and it leads us back into the funky bassline groove of Let's Work. Definitely one to dance to if you've got your groove shoes on.

The album ends with the brilliant fun of Jack U Off, a funky pop masterpiece that you cannot help but sing along to. Dirty? Hell yes. There's not a track on this album you want to play with your kids in the car, but when you're all alone or with your special naked friends, turn this mofo up and let it move you.

Controversy. It rarely gets better than this.

Rating: 5 hand jobs (out of 5).